Tag Archives: Divorce Mediator

Family Mediation with Children

When I started my company I chose to name it Family Comes First Mediation, because no matter how many divorces or paternity cases I do; family will always be a top priority. When children are involved the concept of family has nothing to do with divorce or separation. A parent is always a parent; therefore forever remain the child’s family. Whether choosing to co-parent with ease or talk as little as possible, they will forever be connected on some level. And this is crucial in the life of a child.

As a mediator I remain a neutral party. I keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas, possibly teach empathy and assist in the decision making process. It is my goal to assist couples looking to end a relationship peacefully, while keeping children’s best interest in mind. Together we can negotiate an acceptable agreement that will reduce stress, keep all parties on amicable terms and significantly reduce the cost associated with the litigation. This is of great value to all involved; including the children.

Mediation has the ability to help parties learn to communicate again, if only for the sake of the children, and to make their post-relationship better and easier on all involved. Settling conflicts is extremely important to couples with children simply because although the relationship between the parents has come to an end; the role as parents never ends. Keeping those roles as amicable as possible can only benefit the children; in the same way that constant fighting can only harm children. No child is comfortable with parents in constant crisis, but rather need to know they have parents they can depend on to make good decisions for them. Mediation, and possibly a skilled parent coordinator, can help to make the transition as easy as possible for all involved.

Use a Divorce Mediator to Divorce Without so Much Drama

Divorce can be hard for anyone. Many people think of long, drawn-out legal battles in the court system where couples fight for everything from dividing up marital property to child custody. Divorce does not have to be a drawn out battle, however, when a couple hires a divorce mediator to assist them in reaching a settlement.

Mediation can help couples with their divorce through giving them a platform to make sure that their needs are heard. In mediation, both spouses sit down with a mediator, who helps guide the settlement process. The mediator doesn’t make decisions like a judge would, but instead helps the couple make decisions on their own, just with some help to make sure that they can reach a mutually advantageous decision.

Mediation can be used to settle many of the parts of a divorce settlement that is really best left out of the court system. Disputes over things such as alimony, elements of child support, visitation, what happens to the family home or even dividing up marital property can all be dealt with, meaning the potential to save thousands in legal fees that would normally come about if the couple cannot agree and goes to court.

Besides the savings in legal fees, there are other advantages to mediation for a divorce as well. One of the main advantages is that, because both spouses work towards the settlement, it is much more likely to be adhered to. Both spouses in a settlement reached by a mediator worked hard to get that settlement and are much more likely to see it on positive terms, especially when compared to a ruling based on judicial intervention, which has the possibility of having neither spouse being pleased with the outcome.

The Plusses of Using a Divorce Mediator to Help Divide up Marital Property

The issues of what happens with marital property can be one of the most time consuming for any divorcing couple. Everything from the family home to home goods could cause issues if spouses both can’t agree on who should get what. The result could be a fortune in legal bills and a long divorce as a couple spends months or even years trying to come up with an agreement over who gets what.

A couple could save a lot of stress, time and legal expenses through agreeing to settle their marital property with the help of a divorce mediator. A mediator would assist divorcing spouses in making decisions about what to do with marital property on their own, rather than making the decision for them like a judge would.

The result of using mediation for settling property disputes is that both spouses have a much better chance of feeling that they were treated fairly in the process because both spouses have an opportunity to be heard and made the decisions related to property themselves. This is quite a difference from when lawyers argue it out or if the couple even has to use a judge, who may make decisions that satisfy no one. If a couple comes up with a mutually agreeable settlement when it comes to who should get what property, the couple is much less likely to feel that their spouse got the upper hand in the division of property since both spouses had equal say in the outcome. Using a mediator does not preclude couples from seeking legal assistance as well, but it cuts down on the time and expense involved.

Dividing marital property up with the help of a mediator can be the best way to make sure that a divorce goes smoothly, causing the least amount to stress for the couple when it comes to dividing up property.

Divorce Rates and a Divorce Mediator

The old line is that half of all marriages end in divorce, a statistic that seems to imply that we are as a society doomed to chaos and broken, complicated families. The fact that this statistic was never accurate in the first place has not stopped people from continuing to repeat it endlessly. While the divorce rate did in fact surge during the 1970s and 1980s, likely due to the revision of old-school divorce laws around the country combined with social movements that deprecated marriage and inspired many people in unhappy relationships to seek solutions, post-1980 marriage rates show that most marriages – by some estimations, as much as 70% – succeed over the long term.

Marriage success rates go up as education and earning potential go up, but the reasons more marriages are lasting has more to do with the tools available to people and the new way of pursuing relationships. Cohabitation before marriage is more common, people are generally waiting until they are older to get married, and when trouble comes to the marriage – as it must – people have more options for dealing with it, such as a divorce mediator.

Mediation and Divorce

Trouble in a marriage can be disturbing to people, because their marriage partner is supposed to be the one person they can rely on and confide in. When they struggle with that core relationship, it can feel like something fundamental has gone wrong in their lives, and the desire to start over with a clean slate can be tempting.

Divorce, however, is a lengthy and complex process that stresses the divisions that have formed. Mediation has become a powerful choice for couples in the throes of relationship trouble, because it brings them together with a neutral referee who controls the situation. Sometimes a few hours with a mediator is all the couple needs to envision a new perspective on their new lives.

Using a Divorce Mediator for Parenting Time Issues

One of the major issues people face when going through a divorce is the specter of lessened time with their children.  The end of a marriage typically results in the former spouses living apart and pursuing separate lives, and this typically means that a custody and visitation plan must be drawn up and approved by the court.

It is difficult to predict life post-divorce, and a common issue faced by newly-minted divorced parents is the discovery that the custody and visitation plan you agreed to either no longer works after changed circumstances or leaves you with much less quality ‘parenting time’ than you expected or predicted.  While a desire for increased ‘parenting time’ is accepted by the courts as a ‘best interests of the child’ reason for requesting a modification, this does not make it automatic, as more time for you often means less time for the other parent.  In cases where one parent opposes a requested change in the time share plan, a qualified divorce mediator or parenting coordinator is often the most effective tool for resolving these issues.

Best Interests of the Child

A mediator can be very effective in getting both spouses to clearly communicate their fears, desires, and changed circumstances.  People often retain out-of-date impressions of their former spouse and may not realize that they have evolved and changed in the intervening time.  People also sometimes cannot see that increased time with the other parent is almost always beneficial for the child even if it means slightly less time with the custodial parent.  A mediator and/or parenting coordinator can be very effective in both of these situations, avoiding the costs and emotional turmoil of a court appearance and, more importantly for the child, placing parents in the same room for negotiations (if possible).